I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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