doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
