so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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