if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We are two peas in an std pod
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize