sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
