You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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