U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
