Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize