Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
