Non-Jews are for practice
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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