the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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