butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
