I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
