let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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