Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
