google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
