We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's rum buckets o'clock
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
