Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
