and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
