Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
