He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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