just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
