I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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