so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
