the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
