Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize