Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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