Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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