You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
