I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
