Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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