he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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