We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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