Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
