I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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