Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
