Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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