Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
