..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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