Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
