THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize