Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
