Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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