The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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