How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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