I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
