I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
