Im at strip club and am horny
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
