I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
