I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
