I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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