This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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