the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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