:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
