I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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