She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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