im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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