i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize