the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
