I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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