He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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